Meine Gedanken

As an unmarried gal in her 20s, I can’t seem to shake off the continual cry from friends, family and anyone around me of “He’s Just Not That Into You”. OK. We get it. He’s not that into us.

But how the heck does that help our current situation? I mean honestly, does that really explain to our forlorn sisters why men profess their undying love one day, only to never call or see us again the next? Or why modern blokes seem to think that it’s OK to shag, shack up, date for 10 years and still not propose?

Should we really clock it off as another HJNTIY scenario? Or are we being too harsh on each other? Are the men perhaps expecting us to make the move? And if we do, does that make us look like desperate old hags hankering after any man that might flex his biceps our way? …

Here’s the thing. Ever since that darn phrase got introduced into our dating lexicon - thanks to one certain television show, a follow-up book and now the movie - we’ve been told that if a man doesn’t call back, doesn’t give us flowers on Valentine’s Day, refuses to meet our mates or doesn’t propose in a certain specified time frame, then it all comes down to one simple factor: HJNTIY.

Yet not everyone is convinced. Rolling Stone magazine called the entire thing a “toxic wisp of a throwaway line” and pooh-poohed the film for being a blatant “women-bashing tract disguised as a chick flick”. Yikes. A single girlfriend of mine expressed a similar sentiment after seeing the film at a screening in Los Angeles, claiming it would be almost impossible for any self-respecting woman to ever act like any those women did in the movie. “It makes single women look desperate, and single men look like the heroes who are misunderstood for not paying women enough attention. It makes us all look like desperate, dumb, ring-seeking attention seekers.”

The film’s stars, Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore, seem to have had a few HJNTIY moments in their own personal lives, while their characters and the rest of the ensemble cast (which include women like Jennifer Connelly and Scarlett Johansson) seem to act like Stepford Wives. While two of the characters spend the film attempting to change their current men into non-smoking, non-commitment-phobic types, Drew Barrymore’s character is facing a different debacle and one that I am all too familiar with: being rejected by five different technologies. Yep, it’s not enough that a guy doesn’t return our Facebook message or email, but what if we don’t get a reply to our text message, phone call or MySpace message either? Yeouch.

But back to the film. Aside from the sheer lunacy of the calibre of women getting rejected by a bunch of men who in real life they wouldn’t look twice at, the other gripe I have to pick with the whole HJNTIY franchise is that instead of empowering women to take hold of their lives, the entire plot actually revolves around the fact that women are unable to live happy fulfilled lives without a man by their side.

Add to that are recent media stories that would have us believe that if we’re not looking to use a man to validate our pitiful existence, we’re being too feministic for our own good, and are therefore becoming endangered of falling prey to what one writer has dubbed the “Madonna Syndrome”.

Yep, according to a recent story on the UK’s Times Online website, we’ve all been duped. The belief that women can indeed “have it all” and hence should ruthlessly pursue dreams and careers while sacrificing womanly duties to do so has apparently all been a sham.
“I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking,” quips playwright Zoe Lewis, who says that by embracing the feminism espoused by her mother and flaunted by Madonna, she now feels betrayed. That’s because she’s 37 years old without any sign of love or kids in the equation.

She writes: “I have spent 20 years ruthlessly pursuing my dreams … sacrificed all my womanly duties and laid it all at the altar of a career. And was it worth it? The answer has to be a resounding no.”

Therefore, if our choices as modern women are either spending our days and nights searching for a man to plump up our self worth, only to be rejected by a slew of men who are simply not that into us, or alternatively, to idly pursue career ambitions and climb the corporate ladder while shunning our “womanly duties” and therefore losing out on forming a family, then us modern gals are in trouble. Big trouble.

So girls, I propose this. Why not let us turn the tables? Why not have the blokes asking, “I wonder if she’s into me?” as we make the calls, take control of the dating game and take back our lives while we’re at it. Oh, and if every sign of an unreturned phone call or a rejection can be put down to him not being that interested in us, we’d all be single forever. So don’t believe everything you read …

- Samantha Brett , Sydney Morning Herald Blog

* It’s a great movies to watch ladies!.. its maybe a romantic comedy but something about ‘him’ that makes you realize… maybe he’s just not that into you… !

When im back home n viewed my fs page, i was touched by huda’s testimony on ABC friends.. even its just a flash that u can copy from somewhere else, but still its meaningful to me.. thanks huda for this flash, it may looks pretty normal for those who dont understand it..

A) accepts you as what you are

  I dont know how many of us accept ‘friend’ as what they are.. we alyways   jump into the conclusions when they did a mistakes..

B) belives in you

   Do you ever belives in me ‘friends’? or u just listen to what other says about me? Am i always belive in you? Sory if i dont…

C) calls you just to say "hi"

D) doesnt give up on you

E) Envisions the whole of you even the unfinished parts

F) Forgives your mistakes

" im just a man, i make mistakes "- always by bon jovi  .. mistakes is unavoidable, but what makes us diff from each of us is how we learned from the mistakes..

G) Gives unconditionally

H) Helps you

I)  Invites you over

J) Just be with you

we all need someone to be with us.. but do they be there unconditionally? or just walked away when u dont have anything..

K)  Keeps you close at heart

L)  loves you for who you are

This is subjectives…

M) makes a differece in your life

N) Never Judge

O) Offers Support

P) Picks you up

Q) quiets your fears

     I’m scared of being backstabbed.. will u protect me?? or u r the one who did this to me?? will u make me silence with all those fears.. or u just invites the tears?

R) raises your spirits

S) says nice thinks about you

This could be the hardest one, when we never forgives, then we never forget.. so,says nice things bout the unforgetable is nearly impossible…

T) Tells you the truth when u need to hear it

This part is hard to do.. cause the truth is never simple,most of the time, its something that u dont wanna hear..

U) Understands you

Do us always understand each other all the time? nah.. we’re not perfect..!

V) Values you

W) walks beside you

X) explain things you dont understand

    Am i explain enough on the thing you dont understand? then, why dont you ask?

Y) yells when u dont listen

This is my fav… yells when i dont listen is really suits me. The person who really loves to do this to me is Ida.. i’m sory Ida..sometimes, i dont hear ur calling me..

Z) zaps you back to reality

For me, this is the best.. friends is the person ur easily get influenced with. So, by being together,we surposingly remind each other.. forget the tears.. and relieve the pain.. untill we believes,if there’s no one in this world who will stand for me, i know i have you..

..and as we explore what life is all about, we knew the value things we left behind.. the memory of ‘us’… and it remains there.. in another chapter’s of life..

Deary comel..

Goodbye dear, thank you for cheer up my life.

Thank you for be a good listener to me..

Thank you for be the place i cry on..

im  miss u comel..really i am..

nothing can replace u.. the special u…

rest in peace…

Women is like an apple..the wormy one is easy to get as it falling down into the ground..
but the good one is really hard to get as the location is high from the ground..
unfortunately, sometimes the good one feels so depress as no one come to pick it up..so she decided to let herself falling down from the tree..
eventhough she knows that Allah created her perfectly to let her stays at the top..
so lets pray that one day we will be the type of apple that located far away from the ground level..hanging there proudly and repectively for the whole of our life..insya Allah…

Disini kau dan aku
Terbiasa bersama
Menjalani kasih sayang
Bahagia kudenganmu

Pernahkah kau menguntai
Hari paling indah
Ku ukir nama kita berdua
Disini surga kita
                                                                 
 

Bila kita mencintai yg lain
Mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
Sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
Sayang ku akan hilang

If u love somebody could we be this strong
I will fight to win our love will conquer all
Wouldn’t risk my love
Even just one night
Our love will stay in my heart

                              ~~~~~My heart ~~~~~

Terkadang kita terlupa tentang takdirnya illahi…

Terkadang kita melatah bila teruji…

Tersungkur dengan jiwa yang lemah…

Iman yang rapuh…

Bukan tidak tahu diri teruji, bukan tidak tahu untuk bersyukur.. cuma terkadang tewas dengan ujianMu. Maha suci engkau yang menciptakan setiap kejadian. Dan maha suci engkau yang tahu setiap dari kejadian itu. Antara jodoh dan maut, pertemuan dan perpisahan. Maha pemurah engkau yang memberikan kami sekeping hati yang menyimpan seribu rahsia di setiap sudut dan engkau Maha mengetahui disetiap sudut hati itu. Sesungguhnya tidaklah engkau menguji hambamu diluar kemampuannya. Dan untuk anak adam yang tewas diantara hambamu yang angkuh dan bongkak menjulang dunia,kau berilah mereka kekuatan menyusuri ujianMu.

May u have mercy over this son of adam

Alhamdulillah.. syukur yang tak dapat digambarkan.. finally, we did it.. i hold the e-scroll given by Siti Hasmah our counselor .. i grab the scroll neatly, feels like crying.. for all the hardwork for the past 3 years now ,its worthy.

When i walk down from the stage, mom calls up my name and kiss me on the cheek.. Ya Allah, for all the happiness in them,it is the best present ever gifted to me.. Mak,Abah.. this is for both of u.. both of u deserve to be there.. saw ur daughter on the stage because of ur supports and loves in every step along the way..

I still remember on the first day during my orientation week in MMU. That day was hot.. we walked for miles n miles from one building to another wearing purple ‘baju batik’. we were so exhausted.. everyone hated that week.. untill me and my new friend sangheeta,flee from that week and we  went shopping at the mall nearby…hehe..sang, did u remember those days?

Remember sang, when we went to watch LOTR? remember when we went for supper most of the time in Murni with Jean, Ganesh and SPB friends? Remember after that, we were enjoying our ice-cream on the field in front of our apartment while gossipping?  i miss those days.. and most of all..something that i wont ever forget is when i was admitted in Pantai for the cyst in my right ovary. For those who helped bringing me to the hospital that nite.. tq so much.. I miss my ep’s friends.. 

As the time goes by, when i move to a new house.. i got new friends, i’m enjoying my life even more… well, had my supper in subaidah, and i started to know places that sell good food in mlk, midnite movies in MP, suppers in hotel, hehe.. yana’s fav chicken chop stall, ida’s fav daud stall.. yummm!!! i miss it..

But today, no more those tastes, no more cha-cha dance back home, no more last minutes study, no more ‘tongkat ali power root’ at nite for study, no more laughing like hell untill our neighbour hates us so much..hahaha.. no more nasi lemak kak ila, no more study in library, no more class to skip, no more hurting by backstabber friends, no more that and this… but i miss it.. miss every moment created for the past 3 years..

For today, congratulations to all my friends who have successfully graduated - ina, azie, yana, aila, iza , ayu, sangheeta ,jean ,sad, zack, my dear ex roomate - nur and also to all other friends.. for those who are still in mmu, well..gudluck guys, appreciate today, as u’ll miss it like i do…

• Mungkin Tuhan sengaja mahu kita berjumpa dengan orang yang salah sebelum menemui insan yang betul supaya apabila kita akhirnya menemui insan yang betul, kita akan tahu bagaimana untuk bersyukur dengan ni kmat pemberian dan hikmah di sebalik pemberian tersebut.
• Apabila salah satu pintu kebahagiaan tertutup, yang lain akan terbuka tapi lazimnya kita akan memandang pintu yang telah tertutup itu terlalu lama hinggakan kita tidak nampak pintu yang telahpun dibukakan untuk kita.
• Kawan yang paling baik ialah seseorang yang anda boleh duduk di dalam buaian dan berbuai bersama tanpa berkata apa-apa pun dan kemudian berjalan pulang dengan perasaan bahawa itulah perbualan yang paling hebat yang pernah dialami.
• Memang benar yang kita tidak akan tahu apa yang telah kita punyai sehinggalah kita kehilangannya dan juga benar bahawa kita tidak tahu apa yang kita rindukan sehinggalah ‘ia’ datang.
• Memberi seseorang seluruh cinta anda bukanlah satu kepastian yang mereka akan menyintai anda kembali! Jangan harapkan cinta sebagai balasan. Nantikan sahaja ia untuk mekar di dalam hati mereka tapi sekiranya ia tidak, pastikanlah ia terus mekar di dalam hati anda.
• Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang, satu jam untuk menyukai seseorang, satu hari untuk menyintai seseorang tetapi ia mengambil masa sepanjang hidup untuk melupakan seseorang.
• Bercinta memang mudah. Untuk dicintai juga memang mudah. Tapi untuk dicintai oleh orang yang kita cintai itulah yang sukar diperoleh. Jangan sesekali mengucapkan selamat tinggal jika kamu masih mahu mencuba. Jangan sesekali menyerah jika kamu masih merasa sanggup. Jangan sesekali mengatakan kamu tidak mencintainya lagi jika kamu masih tidak dapat melupakannya.
• Jangan pandang kepada kecantikan kerana boleh jadi ianya palsu. Jangan kejar kemewahan kerana ianya akan susut. Carilah seseorang yang membuatkan anda tersenyum bahagia…..
• As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
• You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because very sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

What is this thing called love? Is it something indescribable? Or are there specific attributes to love from which we can learn? Lots of the myths are misleading in subtle ways. For instance, "Love is a feeling." "It is romance." "I will find my destiny with my soulmate." "Love will cure the loneliness and suffering." There seem to be more misconceptions than truths. We’re stuck with so many wrong ideas that it’s no wonder many people are confused.

Most of the definitions of love describe what it isn’t.Charity doesn’t envy, boast, behave out of pride, isn’t self-seeking, short tempered or disposed toward evil or wrong. The characteristics of love comprise a short list: charity suffers long, is patient, kind and rejoices in truth. Charity acts in faith, hope, endurance and permanence.

Selfishness draws in several variations, like using another person to gratify our vanity. Other characteristics of selfishness are possessiveness of others, lust and unkind actions that hurt others or disregard their value as individuals. Self-centered behavior should not be mistaken for love.

True love is selfless. The closer we can come to ideal love, the more our attention is focused toward the benefit and blessing of our loved ones.

I think that being in love is a preparatory emotion that helps people overcome their selfishness long enough to BEGIN loving each other. The infatuation is not the goal. The goal is to sacrifice one’s own selfishness, to gain a deeper appreciation and tolerance for the other, and to learn to love with lasting commitment. To be truly in love is to be considerate for your loved one’s life-long well being. This kind of love needs to deepen in order for meaningful relationships to last. These are the couples who stay in love.

But… have you heard some of the songs?? is this what you call soulmates?… your heart n soul?? its bullshit!!! let me put some examples..

song by ungu - demi waktu

aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya

yang kini hadir diantara kita

namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu

yang slama ini temani hidupku

maafkan aku menduakan cintamu

berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya

dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu

maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu

seandainya bila ku bisa memilih

kalau saja waktu itu ku tak jumpa dirinya

mungkin semua tak

kan

seperti ini

dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku

membawa aku dalam kehancuran

Hancur hatiku mengenang dikau    —> mmg kesian…
Menjadi keping-keping setelah kau pergi–> aku ada ko pikir??
Tinggalkan kasih sayang—> abis nak aku tinggalkan apa? harta?
Yang pernah singgah antara kita –>kalau pnh singgah ko tak buat camni la
Masihkah ada sayang itu –> tanya pulak???

Memang salahku, yang tak pernah bisa –>dah tau salah, pun nak buat gak!

Meninggalkan dirinya ‘tuk bersama kamu–> igt hati org ni.hati lembu ke!
Walau ‘tuk terus bersama—> forget it… !
Kan ada hati yang ‘kan terluka —– > selfish tau ko ni!      
Dan ku tahu kau tak mau—> aku je tak nak.. ko nak pulak!

Sekali lagi maafkanlah—> dahlah, simpan je maaf tu… sikit2 minta maaf..
Karena ku cinta kau dan dia—> napalah ko tak syukur je ada aku?
Maafkanlah ku tak bisa—>aku juga tak bisa memaafkan ko.
Tinggalkan dirinya—-> kenapa? dia pregnant ke???

Mungkin tak mungkin ‘tuk terus bersama–> malas dah nak fikir..
Jalani semua cinta yang tlah dijalani—> ni pun sama..
Tapi bila itu yang
Kau pikir yang terbaik untukmu–> aah.. aku tak rela dimadu..
Bahagiaku untuk dirimu–> n bahagialah kau dgn pilihanmu

Simpan sisa sisa cerita cinta berdua–>nak buat apa simpan?buat sakit hati je.
Walau tak tersisa cerita cinta berdua–> pls la.jgn ckp soal cinta lagi,geli tau!

Still love her in my mind—> u think i care to know???
Still love her forever —> i got someone better than u!